Two Letters
by Bleeding Writer
Summary: She didn't know what it was about that word. It was a two letter word. It was hardly, significant in any way. But when he said it, it filled her with such joy. BBXRAE pairing. Very long oneshot. Rated T for some adult situations. BONUS SCENE ADDED.
1. Two Letters

**Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans.**

**Two Letters**

Summary: She didn't know what it was about that word. _It was a two letter word. It was hardly, significant in any way. But when he said it, it filled her with such joy._

Beastboy and Raven pairing

Rated T for some adult situations

**Note:** inspired by "Grace" by Kate Havnevik. Highly recommend listening to it while you read.

"_Hi," he said simply with a cheesy grin as he sat next to her in the sand. _

_After fighting so many taxing battles, Jump City's heroes decided that they needed some R&R time to regroup themselves (much to the initial chagrin of Nightwing) in order to protect the city better. So they called on some of their fellow freelance Titans to watch the city for them while they were on their vacation. _

_For a while, they all debated where they should go. Beastboy suggested Tokyo again but after the whole Brushogun fiasco, no one was really enthusiastic about going back but him. Starfire wanted to go to Paris, France because of the whole "romance" of it all. But she was out voted by the single people of the group. It was Cyborg who came up with the best idea. _

"_How about we go to some tropical island with a lot of sun and sand?" he grinned. _

_At first, Nightwing and Raven disagreed with it. Raven didn't want to be out in the sun that much. Due to her unbelievably fair, almost transparent, skin tone she was highly acceptable to sunburn and therefore, would have to go to great lengths to make sure she was protected. Nightwing on the other hand, was afraid of the amount of tourists and crowds there. They would have to remain professionals the entire time and constantly avoid any bad run in with the paparazzi. _

"_That would defeat the purpose of having this vacation in the first place," he said. _

_But after a little bit of problem-solving, Beastboy came up with the idea to ask if they could stay at one of Bruce Wayne's very remote, very private islands. And after a little more convincing (mainly on Starfire's part), Nightwing caved and called Bruce. He was willing to oblige, after taunting Nightwing a little and made the arrangements for them to stay on an island he owned 20 miles off from Brazil._

_As for Raven, Beastboy decided to buy all the suntan and sunblock lotion that the grocery store had and all the aloe too, just in case she got burned, anyway. He also bought her a big, black, floppy sunhat (with a flower on it) and a black cover up._

_To say she was surprised when he presented her with all this was an understatement. _

_Giving her a big cheesy grin, he said, "I really want you to go."_

_And that was that and there they were. Cyborg and Nightwing were off playing Frisbee while Starfire swam in the ocean, looking for seashells. Meanwhile, Raven was sitting in the shade, avoiding the sun (underneath the big, floppy hat), and reading a book - being far enough not to be dragged into the action but close enough not to cause unwanted concern._

_Her eyes never leaving her book, she drawled out a low "…Hi."_

"_How's it going?" he pushed, his eyes never leaving her._

"_Just fine, Beastboy," though he had changed his name in public, the rest of the Titans still called him Beastboy outside of battle. She turned the next page of her book, hoping that he would get the hint that she didn't want to talk._

_He didn't. "Fine? We're on vacation! On a remote island. With a giant house and a full bodied staff that comes in every day to cook and clean for us."_

"_And?"_

"_Aaaaaand…" he mocked, "You're more than just fine. You're totally psyched!"_

_Sighing, she said, "Yes, I'm totally psyched. Can you go now?"_

"_Nah," he breathed. Folding his arms behind his head, he lied down on the white, soft, and warm sand. "I need out of the sun for a bit. I may not get burned but I don't need to get skin cancer, you know?"_

_She perked her eyebrow in response. So he does have a brain._

_A few moments of silence passed between the two of them. The sound of waves hitting the shore and the seagulls cawing above them filled as background noise, easing them into further relaxation. Every now and then, they would hear Nightwing and Cyborg shout something referring to the game, which was pleasant to hear. It wasn't every day their leader relaxed so it was nice to hear him enjoy himself._

_Beastboy sighed as he settled further into the sand with his eyes closed, "I could get use to this..."_

_Turning another page in her book, she said, "Well, don't. Cause soon we'll be back at the tower doing morning drills and fighting crime."_

"_You're ruining this," he sang, "Come on, just enjoy where we are. Pretend we don't have to go back to that for the next few days."_

_She decided not to reply. Just because she was a realist didn't mean she wasn't enjoying her break! She loved being able to read three books a day unbothered by crime. She loved watching her friends have fun. And more importantly, she loved being out of that leotard She made a mental note to change her uniform when they got back home._

"_So," she heard him say, "You wanna explore the jungle with me?"_

_She looked up and saw him standing in front of her. His face lost its boyish roundness and grew lean and angular. His body was no longer long and lanky but full, muscular, and well-toned. Though he still lived his vegetarian lifestyle, he found out how to make up for his lack of protein and other nutrients in his diet to get the body he always wanted. And towards his late teens, he had a late growth spurt making him the second tallest person on the team. His voice even dropped a few octaves. And his once awkward and big ears finally fit his face, much to his pleasure. He mentioned several times that he was going to have them pinned back if they continued to stick out. He used to hate how odd they looked on his head and it didn't help that the gossip often picked on him about them. _

_Yes, he certainly wasn't a boy anymore._

"_Or we could explore the underwater caves around here? That would be cool too?"_

_Snapping out of her thoughts, she stuck her nose back in the book, "No, thank you."_

_Soon she saw a green thumb creep over the middle of her book as he pulled it down to look at her. He gave her one of his charismatic smiles. The one that seemed to fill her up and make her believe she could do anything. _

"_Come on," he said breathlessly, "Come with me…"_

* * *

The water was cold now.

How long had she been sitting in there? A few hours? A day? Time seemed to be lost on her. She couldn't focus on trivial things such as time.

She sat in the stone sunken in bath, unmoving. Her skin wet and prunny from sitting in the water for so long. She stared at the faucet but it wasn't the faucet she was looking at. She saw him lying the beyond it, instead.

She closed her eyes and tried to get the image of him out of her head but he was still there behind her lids. With a startled breath, she blinked her eyes again – his image never faltering.

He was bleeding on the ground before her now- blood spurting out of his chest as he gasped for breath. She could still smell the salty, copper scent of his blood as it pool around him.

Her chest grew heavy as she recalled the memory of the day's earlier events.

* * *

_It was a routine mission against Johnny Rancid. It wasn't anything new. Robin would say something witty before he would yell, "Titans go!"_

_And Beastboy would attack first as an animal with large and sharp teeth as the initial distraction. Then, Cyborg would hit him from behind with his sonic cannon. Starfire would throw fire bolts from overhead along with Raven who would throw debris and cars. And Robin would finish him off with a few whacks to the head. _

_They could do that mission in their sleep. But when Robin delivered that final blow, the villain laughed darkly and looked above and behind them. Turning around, they saw a swarm of Sladebots all along the rooftops, the streets, and along the outside wall._

_And then, the real battle began. _

_It was a long battle that extended four blocks. It seemed that for every Sladebot they destroyed two more would take its place. The Titans were tired, outgunned, and outmatched but they still fought on into the night. _

_As the night approached, it became hard to see the bots. Cyborg had to turn on his thermal sensor and had to tell the rest of his team what was coming, which proved to be difficult to do while fighting the bots himself. Mostly, they had to fight by line of sight._

_They were on the corner of 12__th__ and 5__th__ in attempt to keep the fight from spreading out to the rest of the city. Raven attacked from the sky while he fought them on the ground. It was a whirlwind of commotion!_

_Suddenly, the ground shook violently making the bots back off._

"_They're retreating," Nightwing yelled through the communicator._

"_Yeah but why?" Changeling asked. Something didn't feel right and he knew it._

"_Perhaps we are victorious?" Starfire questioned._

"_That would be great but I highly doubt it," Raven replied, landing by the Beastboy. _

"_You're right, Raven. Something's coming – something big," Cyborg answered, "I can't figure out where it is. It's messing up my sensors. So everyone, keep your eyes open."_

_They held steady, looking around them as the ground continued on shaking._

"_Starfire, do you see anything?" Robin asked. _

"_No, I do not."_

"_I can't smell anything either."_

"_Cyborg, could this be an earthquake?"_

"_No, my sensors would detect if it was."_

"_Everyone, be quiet!" Raven commanded. She didn't know what was out there but the background noise they were making was distracting. Seconds after she said that the shaking stopped. _

_They all held their positions, waiting. Waiting for something. Waiting for an attack. Waiting for an indication that they were in the clear. Waiting, for anything._

"_Are we clear?" Cyborg murmured. _

"_Maybe but just to make sure – team spread out! Check the next four blocks around your section for any activity. Go!"_

_And so they did. They all split up taking four blocks around, alert and ready. Raven went down 12__th__, looking all around her. A series of nerves rattled her insides. Something was coming – something bad, that could change everything._

"_I have a really bad-," was what she could get out before an explosion from the ground erupted in front of her. She flew back into an abandoned car, rendering her conscious for a moment. She heard a loud and high pitched, grotesque shrill before she heard something being knocked over. Her communicator was loud with voices, screaming at her but she couldn't move to answer it. She couldn't speak. She was struggling to open her eyes._

'_Come on, wake up!' she yelled mentally. She felt something slide up and around her leg. 'Shit! Wake up!'_

_She felt herself be pulled and lifted her up high in the air, her body limp. 'Fucking wake up already!'_

_She heard the monster roar at her as well as metal clang up against each other and gears turning a twisting around. 'WAKE UP!'_

_Her limp body swung back and forth a little before being released. She flew through the air, hearing the metal clack louder and faster. Suddenly, she felt something knock into her and away from the metal clanking. She and it landed on the ground with a roll but it didn't hurt. Her body was protected. She blinked her eyes, trying to open them but to no avail._

"_Raven?" she heard a familiar voice say. "Raven, can you hear me?"_

_She twitched her lips to say yes but instead a low grunt came out. She heard the metal clanking come near again along with Starfire's battle cry from overhead. Feeling him put his arms underneath her legs and around her back, she was lifted up into the air again. He started running, his breath heavy and panicked as he ran._

* * *

"Agh!" she groaned, raising her hand from the water to her forehead and closing her eyes as if she had a headache. It hurt for her to think about it. She didn't want to think about it anymore but it was all the plagued her mind.

Her heart raced rapidly as she left her mind, her breathing fast and strained. Her head was heavy on her neck, causing her to rest her head on the cold stone behind her. Though the bath helped heal her of her minor ailments her body was still felt weak. She lifted her hand to her eyes. It was shaking like a leaf on a branch. She focused on it, tried to get it to stop but it just seemed to shake more. Was it physical trauma? Was she still weak from the battle? Shock? Or was it…?

No, she couldn't think those thoughts. She wouldn't. Lowering her arm back into the water, Raven stayed there, unmoving, as she closed her eyes and let the cold on the back of her neck soothe her.

* * *

_There was something strangely comforting about lying on the tile. It was cold and hard but it was inviting – asking for her to stay awhile and enjoy its frigid embrace. And she complied willingly, lying on the bathroom floor of the Titans Tower in her evening gown from earlier._

_In order to maintain their good image, the Titans had to keep up with the press – being local celebrities and idolized heroes it was part of the package deal. So every now and then, they had to attend a Charity Ball where all of the City's high society people and socialites were invited to donate money to whatever Cause they were promoting for the night. So they all put on gowns and tux's and donned on jewels, shined shoes, and fake smiles for the sake of publicity and charity._

_Such was the case for the evening prior. And before going to the nights' event, Raven decided that she was going to see Jericho - her boyfriend of thirteen months, and show him her new dress since he couldn't go with her as her date. She knew he was anxious to see her all dolled up so she deemed it a good idea to go it in person. So she drove to Jump City's hospital, where he waited, bed-ridden, for a heart transplant. _

_It wasn't too long after the two started dating he was diagnosed with congestive heart failure, a condition in which the heart's function as a pump is inadequate to meet the body's needs. Unfortunately, he was a very rare blood type and had a hard time finding a match so that the newly transplanted heart would have a good chance of working for him. _

_The first few months after he found out, he was still fine – a little more winded here and there but he was mostly fine. But soon, his body started shutting down on him. It hurt to breathe whenever he was doing something strenuous or even lying down. He was tired all the time, coughing all the time, nauseous and dizzy all the time. He had been given pills to reduce the swelling in his heart and the fluid in his lungs but that only prolonged the symptoms until he had to be fully admitted into the hospital. _

_He was sure Raven was going to leave him but she didn't. She had remained faithful to him and stayed with him, for she loved him. It was true that she couldn't necessarily say she was in love him but she did love him to some capacity. He was not only her boyfriend but he was one of her closer friends so he had meant a lot. She had only wished her powers went to the extremities of healing such things as disease and not just battle wounds. _

_When she came to visit, he was fine – well, as fine as he could've been. He smiled as she shyly twirled around in her navy blue chiffon dress for him. He joked about how Hell must've frozen over when she put on the makeup and her heels. She rolled her eyes at him and kissed him goodbye. Saying that she needed to go otherwise she was going to get a call from Nightwing. He waved her goodbye with a smile on his face, looking happy and well. And that was the last time she saw him._

_She got the call when she arrived to the ball. Not even a minute into the social had passed and she heard he had abruptly gone into cardiac arrest and had died. There was nothing they could do to revive him._

_Her world had crumbled. Didn't she just see him?! He was well! He was stable! He was okay! He was – wasn't he?_

_At some point after the call, she found herself back at the Tower, lying face down on the cold tile. She was still in her dress, her makeup ruined from crying, and her heels still buckled firmly to her feet. Her hands were on either side of her face; her palms faced down but slightly balled up in a relaxed sort of position._

_She needed a way to stop the world from spinning - from turning. Maybe if she just stayed there, maybe if she didn't move, it wouldn't be true… right?_

_She heard her teammates whisper from the door behind her, all of them unsure of what to do. She had been lying there for hours? Days? How long had it been? Time seemed to freeze around her like the cold tile flushed underneath her. _

"_Should we just – pick her up?"_

"_No, no, that would just upset her more."_

"_Perhaps I should make her the pudding of mourning."_

"_That won't make her feel better. If anything that would make her feel worse."_

"_Well, we can't just let her lay there. I mean, look at her."_

_A pause happened. She knew they were looking at her but she wasn't going to acknowledge them._

"_We have to do something, man!"_

"_I know! We just need a plan."_

_She heard them quiet down for a moment. Their words being swallowed up in their throats as they spoke. She heard footsteps clack on the tile before the door shut with a click. A sigh was heard along with more footsteps heading for the toilet by her feet. She listened as she heard the ruffling of his clothes, the untying of his shoelaces and his sighs as he took a seat on the floor next to her._

_Lying down, he faced her – eye to eye. His emerald green eyes were sad but strong as she looked at him - emerald meeting amethyst. They were soothing her, understanding her as she laid there on the floor. She felt his hand, stroke her back lightly._

"_Hi," he breathed._

_She said nothing but she did lift up her fingers as if to say "hi" back._

"_I know that nothing I say will make you feel better right now," he started, "I know because I know what this feels like. I've seen that look before. I've had that look before. That look I was the one I had when my parents died."_

_Though her eyes were on him, they didn't necessarily focus on him until he said that. Very little was known about Beastboy's past. Despite him being the most charismatic and open one out of the group, his origin story was one that was well hidden behind his smile and corny jokes. So to hear him bring up his parents was something to take of note._

_He continued. "I was about five, I think – when it happened. Everything was fine. It was just a regular day. We were happy, sailing down river and then… I don't know. Something went wrong. I remember my mother frantically telling me that it was okay and my dad was just working at the engine, just trying to get the damn thing to work again. And then, I remember my mom telling me to fly, to be safe, to go. And I was so scared I didn't know what to do. It took my dad throwing me off the boat to get me to move. So I turned into a bird and flew to the nearest tree. When I turned back into me again, I watched my parents go over the water's edge. I heard them scream until… they weren't screaming anymore. And I lied there on that branch – just how you're lying now. And I didn't move. I didn't say anything. When the people from my village came to get me… I didn't move. No matter what the said. No matter what words of comfort they tried to give me. Nothing. Could make me move from that tree. I don't know how long I stayed there. A few minutes, hours, days. I don't know…._

"_But I know what _this_ feels like. I know that you're not going to move until you're good and ready. And I know you feel alone. And I want you to know that you're not. You're never alone and I will stay here and make sure you know that."_

_He shifted a little closer to her, his hands running through her purple tresses, "So we're going to lie here. Until you're ready to move. I don't care if that alarm goes off. We're not moving until you say you're ready."_

_She felt something hot run down the side of her face as she gave him a little nod. Grateful for his story and even more grateful for his company, she gave a sniffle and laid there, her eyes never leaving his. _

_After a few moments, the alarm did go off and as he promised he did not move. He didn't even flinch. He just held her hand tighter. A few more moments passed and they knew their teammates were back and were monitoring the bathroom door, wondering if they should enter or not. They all decided not to and went to their perspective rooms for the night._

_Or was it, day? She didn't know. All she knew was that he was there and that he wasn't going anywhere. Not even to sleep._

_Even more moments passed and she finally breathed, opening her mouth a little. She saw that he was watching her, intently, waiting on her next move._

_She took another intake of breath, "Beastboy?"_

"_Yeah?"_

"…_Jericho's dead."_

_He gave her a sad look, "Yes, Raven. Jericho is dead."_

_She gave a meek nod, "And he's not coming back."_

"_No, Raven. He is not coming back." His tone was not light or comical in the least bit but it wasn't cruel or harsh. It was serious and matter-of-fact, much like a doctor's tone when breaking such sad news. It was the tone she needed to her to help her accept the reality of the situation._

_She gave another nod. She very quickly became aware of her position and realized that the floor no longer comforted her. It was cold, hard, and unforgiving now unlike it had been not ten minutes ago. She looked down and noticed all of her fineries and realized she wanted out of them. She grew embarrassed at her behavior._

"_I think," she started, weakly, her eyes going back and forth between him and the floor. "I-I'm ready to get up now…"_

* * *

She sighed into the air as she recalled the memory. That had to be one of the hardest times of her life. It had seemed like everyone was dying around her.

Not long after Jericho's funeral, she found out that one of the Tyke Titans, Timmy Tantrum, had lost his life in battle along with her long distanced friend, Argent. After that she went out on a mission and rescued a family from a burning building. A boy no older than 14 got really bad smoke inhalation in the fire. She worked and worked on him but when he was finally turned over to the EMTs, he had passed.

Death seemed to loom around her for a few months, making her question if she was the bringer of death. Whenever she would try to lock herself in, he was always the one to come after her and make her feel better. Even in the middle of the night when she couldn't sleep.

Deciding it was time to get out; she climbed out the Healing Bath and grabbed a towel. She picked up her blood stained and torn uniform and her communicator. She hugged the device to her chest as she walked towards her room.

* * *

_Having death after death of the people closest to her happen, Night Wing decided that Raven needed to go away and regroup herself before returning to battle. He ordered her to take two weeks off and go on vacation far away from Jump City._

"_Go somewhere to relax," he said to her, "Get your mind off things."_

_After a lot of protesting, she did as he commanded and packed her bags for India. And soon she was there. She thought staying at a meditation center in the meditation capital of the world, she would find peace but instead she found more distress._

_It was hot. And crowded. More crowded than she expected. Bugs flew around everywhere – on her, on her food, in her bed. Just everywhere. She didn't find peace in her meditation. Instead she just found more confusion, irritation, distraction, and bug bites. She had no idea what she was doing anymore. She grew homesick very quickly and wished for nothing more than to go home._

_She lied in her bed, staring up at her royal purple ceiling. It was almost three in the morning and she had meditation at five. She pursed her lips as she reached over and picked up her communicator. She flipped up the screen, "Raven calling Beastboy."_

_She waited a few seconds, scratching at the bug bite on her neck before the screen fizzled and his face appeared._

"_Hi," he greeted with a confused sort of smile, "I was just thinking about you."_

"_Hi," she said back. Her discomfort from earlier seemed to ease away seeing his face. "How are you?"_

"_I'm good," he responded. The screen bounced around, indicating he was walking. "How's India?"_

_She hesitated for a moment, "…Good, I guess."_

"_You guess?" he laughed, "You're at the meditation center of the world! You must be thrilled!"_

"_Yeah…" she trailed._

_Taking notice of her odd tone, he turned serious, "What's wrong?"_

_Raven shifted in her bed in embarrassment and looked away from the screen._

"_Rae?"_

"_I just," she spoke lowly, "I don't know what I'm doing here, Beastboy."_

_He nodded his head at her, "Well, maybe you'd figure it out if you didn't call me."_

"_Beastboy-,"_

"_Raven, you're not going to get yourself anywhere if you keep calling home. I mean, it's great to see you and I'm glad you called but isn't part of the program is to be away from technology and in the meditation?"_

_She opened her mouth to say something but she couldn't argue his point. He was… right? When did that happen? She closed her mouth again and looked down-trodden. _

_She heard him sigh, "It's gotta be late over there."_

"_It is…"_

"_You want me to sing to you?"_

_Her eyes perked up, hopeful. She always had trouble sleeping, due to nightmares and the like but after Jericho's death, her insomnia grew worse. One night, the Beastboy came to check on her and found her in tears, just wishing she could sleep. Without a thought, he lied next to her and held her like he did on the bathroom floor and sang her a lullaby in Swahili. It soon became a ritual between them whenever she couldn't sleep._

"_Please?" she pleaded._

_He smiled, "Okay, just give me a minute."_

_The lights behind him disappeared and she heard the zip of the shades coming down. The screen bounced around some more and he got in his bed and lied on his side, the screen still facing him. She lied on her side to._

"_Okay, are you settled in?" he asked gently._

_She nodded._

"_I'm going to record this and send the file to your communicator so you can play before you go to bed while you're away. You are not to call me again until your program is done. I miss you but I want you to get what you came there for and if you call me, I will not answer you. That goes for anyone else on the team. You are not to call, unless you've finished the program or it's a dire emergency. Understand?"_

"_I understand." he was so serious and stern with her, it was almost alarming. And almost sweet…_

"_Okay," he smiled and then, he started to sing. She didn't know what it was about this song but it filled her with so much light and hope that there wasn't any room for darkness in her. His voice was so gentle and smooth and soothing as he sang each word to her. It made her feel as if everything was okay._

_He finished the last note and smiled at her again, "Good night, Raven."_

_Giving him a small smile, she murmured, "Good night, Beastboy."_

* * *

"Good night, Raven," the intercom said as she watched the video again. She reached over to her nightstand and pressed play again on her communicator, starting the song again.

She loved his lullaby. She loved his voice. Hearing his voice comforted her as she lied there on her bed. She stared at the screen, watching him sing his lullaby to her, a gentle smile played on his lips as he did. Over and over again she played it, not allowing the silence in her room get to her. She needed to hear him. She needed to see him. She needed _him._

Pressing play once more, she rolled onto her back and replayed earlier events.

* * *

_They soon came to a stop before he placed her on the ground. By that point, she was able to get her eyes to open but they couldn't stay open for long. She looked up at his concerned face as he checked her over._

"_You'll be alright," he said softly, running his hand over her hair, "I'll be back. Stay here. Stay safe. You understand?"_

"_You," she huffed out, "Stay…safe."_

_Nodding, he kissed her forehead, "I will." Lowering his lips, he kissed her – lingering at her lips a little longer before getting up and running off._

_She sat there for what seemed like forever, trying to get her body to work again. Though it had been a long battle and she was tired and hurt, she wanted to get up. She wanted to help. She couldn't just sit there and wait for it all to be over. She couldn't be so…so…useless! _

_After a few moments she gained her strength again, starting at her feet and working its way up. Her eyes were open and were able to focus again as she slowly stood to her feet. She limped over to where she heard the battle coming from. Walking out of the alley she looked up to see all of her teammates fighting a giant metal worm with what looked like teeth. But something along the buildings caught her eye. She looked over at the buildings. There was an army of Slade bots coming back and jumping down from the walls to attack. _

_Raven lifted up her hand, weakly, and blasted the oncoming bots – destroying as many as she could. _

_In the midst of all the fighting, out of the corner of his eye he saw a black aura incasing the incoming bots. "Raven?" he murmured as he looked around to find where she was. He looked towards the alley he took her down and saw her standing there, black magic emitting from her hands. _

_The metal monster reeled, letting out a strange roar, causing him to lay his focus on that. He noticed that its eye was no longer on the Titans that were attaching it but for the dark empath who wasn't. With a dashing 'ping' a thinner worm came out of its back and stretched down to an unsuspecting Raven._

_Without a thought, he ran for her. He ran with all the strength he had left in him. He watched as the impending worm opened up and morphed into a sharp silver spike. He pushed forward – his legs moved faster, his arms stretched further, and he pushed harder. He couldn't let it get to her!_

_It was too late when she finally saw what was coming for her. She turned her head and halted – her eyes wide like saucers. She braced herself for impact but it never came. With a blood curdling "zing" the spike went through him instead, his blood coating the silver metal spike. _

_It was as if someone had pushed all the air out of her. Her breath hitched in her throat as she stared at the scene before her. _

_He looked down at the spike, shock taking over his body before he looked back up at her with apologetic eyes. _

"_No…" she whispered. The blade then, turned up and hoisted him in the air, stabbing further through his mid-section. _

"_NO!"_

* * *

The blood red light flashed in the room. She squeezed her eyes and covered her ears, ignoring the sound of the alarm going off. She wasn't going. She couldn't. Her body was too riddled with grief. Nightwing will get over it.

'_I should have stayed there like he told me too. I should have listened!' _she cursed herself. She rolled over to the other side, away from the light and looked over at the nightstand on that side. His Gameboy was still there. It was open, a game already locked in there ready to play. It was so strange to her, not to see it in his hands.

Normally, he would be leaning up against her playing the game as she read quietly to herself. Then, he's grow bored and frustrated with the game that he put it aside and curled up on her lap and talked to her about whatever nonsense he wanted to discuss at the time. Or sometimes he would turn into a cat and curl up her chest as she began to read to him out loud, petting his soft fur until he fell asleep.

'_Why didn't I stay?' _she questioned herself again. She looked over at the other things on the nightstand. There were games for his Gameboy, empty wrappers, and loose change strewn about the top but one thing stood out to her.

Beside the lamp there was a picture frame that sat at its feet. And in it was a picture of the two of them, smiling at each other. He stood behind her, his arms wrapped around her mid-section with a grin on his face. While she looked back him with a shy but pleasant smile on her face, a hand pushing back her hair behind her ear and the other grasping on his arms around her.

They were in Brazil on vacation with the rest of the Titans and they had spent a great deal of time together on the island. He convinced her to explore the remote island they were on and all the crooks and crannies in it, marveling at the beauty that nature had to offer. But one night, the Titans decided they had enough of their solitude so they put on their holographic rings on (that Cyborg made custom to each Titan) and they all went to the mainland.

* * *

_The sounds of drums and various percussions played festively in the background as they walked through the town. People were everywhere. Some people were dancing, or singing, or drinking – just having a good time all around. It was a party!_

_After having their first initial shot together and buying their drinks of choice, they went off to the makeshift dirt dance floor of the outdoor bar. With the exception of Raven, who lingered over at the bar and people watched._

_She smiled to herself as she watched her friends dance and have a good time. She watched the pure joy and fascination on Starfire's face as she danced with Nightwing, who was surprisingly good at the Latin dance the music called for. Looking over to Cyborg, she saw that he had found a dance partner in the form of a local young woman, who danced around him and flirted with her eyes. Cyborg played into it with ease, smiling and trying to be as charming as ever. She was sure he was going to get her number within the hour. She then, looked around for Beastboy but he was nowhere to be found._

"_Hi," she heard someone say beside her._

_She looked over and saw the very person she was looking for._

"_Hi…" she hesitantly said back. _

_All day he had spent with her and all day she wondered why. Did he feel bad for her or did he have something planned? What was it that he wanted from her? She figured once they got to the mainland he would go off and be with their other friends and join them on the dance floor. Not sitting beside her with a cheesy smile on his face._

"_What are you up to?"_

_She shrugged, "Just watching our friends make fools of themselves. What are _you_ doing?"_

"_Well," he started with a gesture towards the crowd, "I'm watching our friends make fools of themselves."_

_She rolled her eyes, "No, that's what _I'm _doing. I asked what you are doing. Are you already drunk?"_

_Laughing, he shook his head, "No! I haven't even finished my first drink yet. And what you're doing is what I'm doing."_

"_Why?" she asked, skepticism riddled within her tone._

"_Because I like hanging out with you," he said it as if it was common knowledge. But for Raven it wasn't._

"_Why?"_

"_Because," he sighed before turning back to face her. His eyes locked with hers as he spoke, "You're the most interesting person I know. And I'd rather hang out with you than be out there with people I don't know and who aren't _nearly _as remarkable as you are."_

_She blinked at him. She wasn't expecting that answer. The most interesting person he knows? What was that? Remarkable? No, she was hardly remarkable… was she? Absorbed in her own thoughts, she didn't notice that she was silently staring at him. His smile widened. "You know, it's considered impolite to stare."_

_Blinking again, she responded, "What?"_

_But he said nothing. He just laughed and turned back to the crowd. Growing embarrassed of the small exchange between them, Raven turned back around and watched their friends. She tried to go back to enjoy herself but she couldn't. Not now, anyway. His words still echoed in her head, making her blush. That was the single most flattering comment he had ever said to her! And it wasn't what he said that was flattering. It was _how_ he said it. So gentle, so personal, with a fact-like tonality to it. And the way he felt…_

_Oh, the way he felt. _

_His emotions poured into her with such force. It was honest and sincere and completely heartfelt. And there was something else… something foreign yet strong that he felt towards her. Fascination, perhaps?_

_She felt a tap on her shoulder, "Hey."_

_Blinking again, she pulled out of her thoughts and turned to him, "What?"_

_He nodded his head to the dance floor, "You wanna dance?"_

_Her eyes flashed to the dance floor, the feeling of dread instantly filling her. She pursed her lips and shook her head "no" as she gazed upon the floor._

"_Come on," he pushed, "I see you staring out there, dancing in your seat. I know you wanna…"_

_Jerking her head up, she looked back over to the green man and gave an incredulous look. Had she been dancing in her seat? How did he notice? Why was he noticing?_

_He was grinning at her, knowing full well that her mind was a flurry of questions. Standing up from the stool, he stepped in front of her and got close._

"_Come on, Rae," he prodded, "Dance with me."_

_Her chest became tight as her heart raced. He was unreasonably close and was suddenly – alarmingly, charming. His jaded green eyes sparkled (he had asked that his eyes to be kept green within the hologram) with light and joy but held a sort of wisdom about them. She wanted to poke and prod in his mind to find out what wisdom he had but that was for another time. She had a question to answer._

_She looked back down at the ground, her black hair curtaining over her face as she murmured another no._

"_Why not?"_

_She merely shrugged in response._

"_What's that thing you always say to me? Oh, right, "Use your words"."_

_She said nothing. After a brief pause, she felt fingertips flutter underneath her chin and lift it up. Her eyes locked with his once again._

"_Why not?"_

_Pursing her lips once more, she frowned. She averted her eyes back to the dirt floor and murmured something she knew only he could hear. "I don't know how to dance."_

_She heard a breathy chuckle, "That it's? Oh come on. It's easy. I'll show you."_

"_No."_

"_Why?"_

"_Because," she huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. She was very annoyed with the conversation, "I'll look stupid."_

_She heard a louder laugh come out of him. She hit his arm in protest, "It's not funny!"_

"_Yes, it is," he chuckled before regaining himself, "Because the thought of you, Raven Roth, looking stupid… is a hilarious one."_

"_Well har dee har har…"_

"_No, you don't get it," he shook his head, "Because you looking stupid… is impossible. That's why it's funny."_

_She kept her position though she did feel better at hearing that. "Come on, I'll make sure you don't look stupid."_

"_And just how will you do that?" lifting her gaze back up to him. _

_He flashed her that charismatic smile, the one that made her feel like she could do anything…_

_Damn, that smile!_

_He held out his hand and said, "Come with me…"_

_Her lips parted as she considered whether to trust him or not. But that smile… she couldn't resist it. As if her hand had a mind of its own, it found his hand. His smile grew wider as he wrapped his hand around her smaller one. Standing up away from the stool, she followed onto the dance floor… and past it. She grew confused when he headed for the exit._

"_Wait, where are we going?" she asked looking back at the floor. The feeling of being able to do anything had vanished just as quickly as it came. _

"_We're leaving," he said so matter-of-fact as they reached the exit._

"_But why?" she didn't stop walking but she clumped behind him as they walked. She thought about turning back. "I thought we were going to dance."_

"_We are."_

"_So where are we going?"_

"_Away from here," he slowed down so that they walked side by side now but he did not let go of her hand. _

"_But-."_

"_-Why?" he finished. He let out another breathy laugh, "Just trust me, okay?"_

_Biting her bottom lip, she paused. She had a thousand questions playing on her tongue but she resisted them and instead said in a very meek and hesitant voice, "Okay…"_

_They walked around the small town for a bit – finding novelty stores and tourists spots to stop in a visit. As they walked Beastboy bumped into her a few times, He could never walk in a straight line. Raven would complain a little bit and push him back to "his side" of the sidewalk but it didn't matter – it seemed like she had this gravitational pull around her and he was bound to get sucked in. _

_Eventually, he wrapped an arm around her and walked, claiming that maybe if they walked together, he would be able to walk straight. At first, she was opposed to the closeness – continuing to push him away but after his fifth attempt she rolled her eyes and accepted it. He was going to keep doing it anyway so she might as well let him. Besides, he was quite warm…and comfy._

_After a little while longer, the found a few street performers playing and singing local music. Walking up to them, Beastboy slowed down as he began to dance to the rhythm, taking Raven's hands in his._

"_What are you doing?" her eyes were wide as saucers._

"_I told you we were going to dance," he smiled as he did a little side step. He pulled her in close – his left hand holding her right and his right hand placed in the middle of her back. He began to sway the two back and forth._

_She blushed furiously at the intimate contact, feeling all sorts of uncomfortable. Looking over his shoulder, she noticed they were being watched by a small crowd. "Beastboy," she spoke lowly, "people are staring."_

_Pulling her back so he could look at her face, he said, "Let the stare. Now look at me and follow my lead."_

_He took a step forward causing her foot to go back. He bringing his feet together again, he swayed and stepped forward again with his other foot making her step back again. They did this for a moment a so before he decided to switch it to the sides. Unsure of what she was doing, she looked down at her feet._

"_Uh-uh," she heard him say. She snapped her eyes to him, "Look at me. Keep your eyes focused on me."_

_She nodded and continued to follow him – her eyes focusing hard on him so that she doesn't look back down again. _

"_Relax," he muttered, "Enjoy this. It's fun. No need to be serious."_

"_I'm focusing on you like you told me too," she said, her foot stepping back again._

_He laughed, "Yeah, focus with your eyes. Not your whole body! Bring your shoulders down. Relax the arms."_

_Taking a deep breath, she relaxed her arms and brought down her shoulders._

"_Good, now I'm going to step it up. Okay?"_

_She nodded._

"_You ready?"_

_She nodded again, even though she really wasn't. "Just follow me. You'll be great!"_

_She nodded once more. _

"_And five, six, seven, eight…"_

_With that, he started moving them in a circle. They travelled over the pavement, spinning her around here and there but catching her in time with the music. She had to admit it, he was a good dancer. Really good. He didn't over power her or make her feel uncomfortable in the dance. He just flowed with her and guided her along. Soon she didn't even realize that people were staring or where her feet were going. She was just with him. In those eyes and in those arms, she danced with him._

_He spun her out one last time at the crescendo of the music and pulled her in so that she was back to chest and dipped her. His face was in her neck as she tossed her head back. His arms wrapped around her back while her hand found the back of his head, her fingers entangling themselves within his (seemingly) blonde tresses. They held the position for a moment, soaking in the feel of the intimate dance before looking back up at each other. _

_There was a slight darkness in his eyes now. The feeling of want exuded out of him and into her. Her breath hitched as the stared on, wanting him as much as he wanted her. Suddenly, the sound of applause filled their ears and dragged them out of their little world. _

_The darkness left his eyes as he smiled before lifting the two back up to standing. He hugged her body close to his, his lips brushing her cheek, whispering huskily, "I told you, you wouldn't look stupid."_

_If her face wasn't red before, she was certain of it now. Feeling his body so close, his hot breath tickling on her ear, his cheek on her cheek. And that whisper!_

_She cleared her throat as she broke apart away from him, her eyes once again finding the floor. But he merely smiled confidently and turned to the local musicians and threw some money into their case. Raven was already down the street when he caught up with her._

"_You were great back there!" he laughed as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "What did you mean you can't dance? You were amazing!"_

_She shrugged, her hand finding his. "I did as you said and followed you. You were the good one."_

"_Well then," he said, pulling her closer so that his nose touched her forehead, "You are one great dance partner."_

_Raven said nothing to this. She blushed once more and looked down at the ground as they continued walked the street together. "How did you learn how to dance like that?"_

"_Rita," he said simply, "Told me that a man should be able to dance just as well as she can fight. So whenever we weren't fighting some evil villain, I was being homeschooled which included a class in dance."_

"_Wow," she remarked. She never would've guessed that._

"_Yeah…" he sighed, "Hey! We should take a picture!"_

_Confused, she stopped and looked up at him, "What?"_

"_Yeah! I have, like, a thousand pictures of everyone else but you. Come on, we're talking one." He took out his camera from his pocket and got behind her, holding his arm out over their heads. "Okay now, smile."_

"_Beastboy…" she started but the camera already flashed and took the picture. Now all she saw were little black dots everywhere._

_He brought the camera back to him and looked at the little screen in the back. He frowned, "Aww… I cut half my face off! Do over!"_

_He lifted the camera and angled it again. Growing uncomfortable, Raven put a hand up and tried to block away from the camera._

"_Rae! What are you doing?"_

"_I don't like taking pictures."_

"_Why not?"_

"_Because, I just don't like it."_

_Beastboy pursed his lips in thought. Looking around, he saw a random pedestrian walking up the street and stopped him, "Hey, would you mind taking a picture of us?"_

"_Sim, eu vou ser feliz para tirar a foto para você."_

"_Obrigado!" He turned back to Raven with a smile, "He said he'll take the picture."_

"_Beastboy, I don't like taking pictures," she repeated with more force, crossing her arms over her chest again._

_Ignoring her, he got behind her and placed his arms around her waist, "I know… don't worry."_

_Her hands found his arms and tried to push them off, "What are you doing?"_

_He said nothing. Instead, placed a soft kiss on her forehead and smiled, "You're beautiful, you know that?"_

_Raven's eyes widened, in surprise. Did he really just say that? Growing shy under his gaze, she pushed back her hair behind her ear with a small smile on her lips._

"_Ok, aqui vai," she heard someone say. She turned her head to see the man handing the camera back to Beastboy. Beastboy nodded with a smile and thanked the man once again. His eyes gleamed with mischievousness as he looked through the photos._

_The man had taken three photos: one of Beastboy getting behind her, one where he kissed her forehead, and the one where she was smiling back at him. Showing the photos to Raven, he grinned slyly, "I don't know which one I like better. I mean, I like the one where I'm kissing you. But I also like this one, just after I told you that you're beautiful."_

_She couldn't seem to stop blushing at him that night. Everything he said, everything he did was just…right! _

_She looked down at the ground for the umpteenth time that day, saying nothing. "Hmm," she heard him say, "I think I like them equally. What about you?"_

_Shrugging, she merely turned away and continued walking. It wasn't very long before she felt that arm wrap around her again and bring her close, causing her to blush even more. _

_Eventually, they made it down to the docks where the boat that brought them there sat and saw that the boat was still there._

"_Well, I guess we're going to have to fly to get home then," he sighed. Raven nodded and began to float of the ground. _

"_Race ya back!" she heard him saw before he transformed into a hawk and flew off as fast as he could. Smiling to herself as she felt the competitive side of her rage on, she sped up and flew off after him. It was a close race the whole way back. It started off with Beastboy in the lead but Raven stayed on his tail, speeding up ever so slowly as they grew closer and closer to their destination. Towards the last ending stretch, Raven pulled forward and in front of Beastboy who was switching into different animals of flight and every now and then a dolphin for when he grew tired of flapping his wings._

_Looking ahead, she saw that they were closing in on the island. Just a few more feet and she will have beaten him! She narrowed her eyes at her target and sped up. Just a little further_

_Unfortunately, Raven didn't notice that Beastboy had changed back into a bird and flew up above her. Just she was descending, Raven felt the great weight come down from above and tackle her down to the ground. She was turned in the air, just before they landed on the sand so that he took the painful blow from their unorthodox landing._

_She heard a strained cough from behind her, "Ow…"_

"_Ow is right," she groaned as she rolled off of him, "What were you thinking?"_

"_I wasn't!" he laughed. Raven let out a breathy laugh and shook her head. This did not go unnoticed, "Hey! Got you to laugh!"_

_She rolled her eyes at him and slowly got up from the sandy ground. "Well this was nice," she simply said and headed up for the house._

"_Wait!"_

_Turning around, she looked to see him standing up with an urgent look in his eyes._

"_What?"_

_There was a pause. An unsure look crept on his face and the once so brave and so confident Beastboy was gone and the shy and vulnerable Beastboy stood in his place._

_He turned his head to the ocean. The full moon's glow wrapped around his silhouette with his now open shirt flapping through the wind. The sound of the sea crashing into the shore filled her ears as she waited._

"_I don't want to go in just yet," he said as he turned back to her. He looked at her with pleading eyes, "Please, stay with me a little longer."_

_She considered it for a moment, rolling her tongue in her mouth. It was late and she really wanted to go inside, curl in her bed with her book and a cup of tea and read until she fell asleep. On the other hand, she was having a good time with him and she was sure whatever he had in mind wasn't going to last long. Tapping her finger against her side rapidly, she reached her decision. _

"_Okay," she said simply. She walked up to him with her hands behind her back and said, "So what do you wanna do?"_

_He looked back to the ocean, then, back to her and smiled. Catching his drift, she shook her head and began to step back, "No…"_

_His smile grew wider as he took a step forward after her retreating form. _

"_No, no, no, no!" she screamed the last one as she took off running from him towards the house, a humorous smile reaching her lips. She almost made it to the stairs when she felt him grab her. _

_She shrieked, "Beastboy, put me down!"_

_Again, he just laughed and carried her to the water. She kicked and screamed and squirmed trying to get away but she couldn't. He had a tight grip on her! They made it to the water and when he felt they were deep enough, he flopped back into an incoming wave and released her._

_Remerging at the surface she gasped for air at the same time he did. He looked at her with a playful grin, giving her his hands to help her stand on the wet turf beneath them._

"_You asshole!" she growled as she shoved him back, "Why did you do that?!"_

"_I'm sorry," he snickered, "I just got… carried away."_

"_Well now, I'm just going to go _away_," she hissed as she turned back towards shore. _

_She felt a hand wrap around her wrist, "No, don't go!"_

_She turned around and glared at him with menacing eyes but her hardened gaze quickly faded when she saw his once again pleading face. Damn, that face! She could never stay mad at him for long._

"_Why?"_

"_Because," he started, searching his mind for a reason. He closed his eyes and sighed as they were being rocked by the waves. In a small voice that only she could hear, she heard him say, "I don't want you to leave."_

_She stared at him for a moment. His pointed ears drooped a little and his eyes were soft and warm and pleading for her to stay. To stay with him, just awhile longer…_

_Once again, she found herself saying, "Okay" to his request and drifted back over to him. _

"_But only if you behave yourself," she warned. He smiled and nodded, happy with those terms and took her hands in his._

"_Now what are you doing?"_

"_Swimming with you," he replied in a sort of sing song voice. "Did you know that sea otters hold hands with each other when they're sleeping in the water?"_

"_No," she replied, her focus concentrated on the affection his thumb was giving her hand, "I did not."_

"_Well they do."_

"_Why?"_

"_To keep from drifting apart," he said. She felt his hand grip hers tighter and he pulled her closer to him. He placed her hands over his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her small frame. Another blush rose to her cheeks._

"_W-what are you doing?" how many times had she asked that question that night. Five? Six? Maybe seven times? _

"_Trying not to drift apart from you," he said smoothly, while placing his forehead against hers. "You've been blushing a lot tonight."_

"_N-n-no, I haven't," God, her voice was shaky! _

_She felt a low rumble in his chest, "Rae, I have better than 20/20 vision. And I can see in the dark. I can see the red in your cheeks as we speak."_

_Looking back down, to hide the blush she said nothing. Well maybe if he hadn't tried to get all close to her maybe she wouldn't be blushing so much!_

_Feeling his wet fingers lift up her chin, she closed her eyes. Maybe if she didn't look at him, the blush would go away._

"_Hey," he whispered huskily, "Look at me."_

_Shutting her eyes a little tighter at the command, she refused. "Look. At. Me."_

_Sighing, she opened her eyes. His gaze still soft and warm. She loved his eyes. She could stare into them forever and be perfectly content with life. _

"_Raven," he breathed. The way he said her name made her knees tremble. She was glad they were in the water. He bit his lip for a moment, piecing together what he wanted to say to her._

"_Yes Beastboy?" she pressed, her eyes wanting to close again. His thumb rubbed her jawline so affectionately, so tenderly she could've fallen asleep._

_He swallowed, "Would you ever date me?"_

_That was a shocker! Her eyes snapping to attention, she let his words sink in. Would she ever date him? She did not expect that question to come out of _his _mouth ever, let alone right now! _

_She had never considered dating him because the two were so different, They were friends but they often grew annoyed with each other about this and that. They fought constantly – some would say, every day the pair where fighting about something, Whether it be about something stupid and insensitive or as simple as what movie should they watch for movie night at the Tower that week. _

_However, as of late, there had been a change in him. Or rather she, now, saw him in a different light than she did before. When he told her about his terrible childhood some months ago on the cold bathroom floor, her views on him had changed. He was still the corny, little, goof ball she had come to know but now he was more than that. He was someone who hid his pain for the sake of those around him. She knew he missed his parents dearly and she knew that his childhood contain more childhood horror than anyone else on the team. She knew he carried the weight of his tragic childhood with every step he took. And yet, he put on a smile every day and put on a show for the world to see. No one knowing all the hardships he had faced. _

_He became not only a hero in her eyes but he also grew into a man right before her very eyes. Since then, she noticed feelings certain things for the changeling. She blushed more often and grew flustered with him. Not furious or angry… but flustered. She felt herself attracted to him in more ways than one. Whenever he smiled at her or touched her. Even during battle, when he would help her stand! But she _never_ in a million years thought that those feelings would be reciprocated!_

_Coming to a decision, she took a deep breath, "Yes."_

_His eyes twinkled instantly. He pulled her closer in, "Raven, would you like to consider today as our first date?"_

_Settling her arms further behind his neck, she bit her bottom lip, resisting a smile, "Yes."_

_His face was dangerously close to hers, their noses were touching. She felt his hot breath dancing against her lips, effortlessly parting them._

"_Raven," she loved how he said her name!_

"_Yes Beastboy?" she swallowed, her eyes caught sight of his lips. She wondered what they felt like…_

_He licked his lips as his hand cupped her cheek, ever so slowly closing the distance between the two. "I would very much like to kiss you right now."_

_Without a moment's hesitation, she replied, "Then, kiss me."_

_He didn't need to be told twice. He caught her lips with his own and kissed her with all the passion he could muster. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head as she kissed him back, her hands once again finding his hair. They stood there together in the pale moonlight as the waves lapped against them – neither of them wanting this moment to end._

* * *

Tears prickling her eyes, she smiled sadly at the memory. She later found out that he had planned the whole day. He knew that he had to approach her as casually as possible as not to frighten her off but be bold enough to make sure she understood where he was coming from. She was complicated and he knew that he had to jump through more hoops than usual to get her.

'_But you're always worth it,' _she remembered him saying. Feeling her sobs creep back up her throat, she clenched her jaw and rolled to her side – her face landing on another pillow.

His scent…

From every night he had slept in her bed, the pillow was soaked in his scent of tofu, pine, and soap. She closed her eyes at the smell, inhaling it deeper into her lungs. She clutched the pillow with her hands and pulled it closer to her, cuddling with it. The tears she had been resisting started to fall as she remembered the first night they had shared her bed.

* * *

_Green skin lied on top of porcelain skin; their naked bodies were hot and sweaty as they lied together as one. Their breaths were heavy and their hearts raced as they slowly came done from their sexual high._

_They had made love for the first time, six months into their relationship. Raven was quite shy about her sexual prowess so she needed time for her to get use to the idea of having sex. Beastboy did not expected any less from her and told her he would wait until she was ready. _

_That night was the night she decided she was finally ready to let him in and give him her all. And by god, did she give it to him just as well as he gave to her!_

_Her head was swimming. Was that what she was missing out on this whole time? She wanted to kill herself for being such a prude! Not only was Beastboy a kind and gentle lover but he was more than generous. He was one of those types of men that made sure that the woman came first before releasing himself… and after a brief pause, would continue to the second. And Raven couldn't have been more grateful for it._

_Lifting himself off of her, he slipped out and rolled over to his side lazily – still catching his breath. Raven looked over to him and waited. Being that it was her first time she was quite unsure of what to do._

_He looked back over at her and smiled before he lifted his arm as if to say, "Come here."_

_She smiled back and shyly came over to him, resting her head on his shoulder and placing a hand on his chest. He wrapped his arms around her tightly and kept her there, enjoying the feel of her naked body against his. After a few moments of silence, she lifted her head and looked at him with her big violet eyes. He kissed her forehead in response to the movement before resting his chin on her head._

"_Hi," his voice was low and soft. She loved it._

_Resisting a smile (but failing), she responded back, "Hi."_

_She didn't know what it was about that word - "Hi."_

_It was a two letter word. It was hardly, significant in any way. But when he said it, it filled her with such joy._

"_How are you?"_

_She let out a grunt that resembled a stopped laugh, "Are you seriously asking me that question?"_

_He giggled, "It's a silly question, I know. But it was your first time."_

"_You didn't hurt me too much, no," she answered. Her hand began to draw lazy circles on his chest. She felt him purr beneath her. Unable to resist, she smiled finally and cuddled closer to him. He held her tighter in reply._

"_Good," he drawled, enjoy her ministrations on his chest. He just loved being rubbed, "I don't think I have to ask you if-."_

"_Oh, I very so much it enjoyed it," she answered for him, smirking._

_A satisfied grin spread on his face, "I knew it."_

_Suddenly, she became very shy as a question appeared in her head, "D-did you?"_

_She heard a low rumble in his chest, "Are you kidding? Hell yes! I'm, like, about to pass out from all this love makin'."_

_Another smile reached her lips as she looked up at him. Sure enough, his eyes were closed with a contented but tired smile on his face. A feeling of pride welled within her as she nestled back into him and closed her eyes with a sigh. She was quite tired too. _

…

_Feeling a pair of lips kiss her shoulder repeatedly, she stirred. She felt a pair of strong arms wrap around her from behind and held her close. She smiled when she felt his breath tickle her skin, making her little hairs stand on edge._

"_Are you real?" she heard him whisper into her ear before planting his lips back on her shoulder._

"_Yes," she replied, "I'm real."_

"_Good, cause if this is a dream, I'll be pissed when I wake up," another kiss at the crook of her neck. _

_She laughed in her throat as she turned around and faced him, his lips automatically, meeting hers. Softly, they kissed each other. It wasn't heated or lustful but instead was soft and affectionate. He caressed her shoulders to her back, lovingly as she placed her hands softly on his chest. He stopped kissing her lips and kissed other parts of her face – her nose, her forehead, her cheeks, her chin, and then, back to her lips. _

_She never thought she was the type of girl who enjoyed a lot physical affection. When she was with Jericho, she was not as physical with him. They connected on a spiritual and intellectual level than they did physically. Sure they kissed every now and then but his kisses never filled her up like Beastboy's did. She never wished for their affection to last forever like she did with him._

_But with him all of her pre-notions she had about herself were thrown out the window. All day she wanted to be in those arms of his. All day she wanted to lie around and kiss him. She craved contact with him and hated it when they had to go out and interact with their other friends (who had no idea about the relationship) causing them to cease any sort of physical fondness. They were both rather private about their relationship._

_Eventually, they stopped kissing and just lied there in her bed, holding each other. _

"_Hi," he greeted, placing his forehead against hers. His left hand rose up and found her hair, running through the silky lilac strands. He loved her hair._

_Snuggling a little closer, she opened her eyes to see him looking back down on her, "Hi."_

"_I could get use to this," he drawled, "This whole, waking up next to you thing."_

_She hummed, she smiled, "So can I."_

_She watched the grin on his face grew wide, "Wow."_

"_What?"_

"_You smiled."_

_She rolled her eyes, "What is it with you and my smile? You almost always point it out."_

_He stared at her with a perplexed look on his face. After a long moment, he finally breathed, "Rae… I have worked for years to get every smile you bestow on me. Every laugh I ever hear. Any time I make you happy and you smile at me, blows me away."_

_She felt naked – more naked than she already was. Was her smile that big of a deal?_

"_Rae, you need to understand," he continued, "My whole day depends on what mood you're in. My whole week depends on whether you laugh or smile at one of my jokes. Rae…"_

_This was going to be the big one… she could feel it._

_Taking her face into his hands, he looked her dead in the eye and into her soul. "My whole existence… revolves around your smile."_

_She gazed at him for a time, trying to wrap her head around what he just said. She had no idea that it was that important to him. _

_Reaching a hand up to the back of his neck, she pulled him down and kissed him with as much passion as she could muster. He kissed her back just as eagerly, his arms going around her back and pulling her body closer to his. She slowly moved on top of him and straddled him. Fortunately, he was just as excite as she was. She slipped him into her and grinded before she stopped and looked him in the eye._

"_I love you," she murmured against his lips. _

_She couldn't deny it. Though they were together for only six months, they had known each other, bled for each other, almost died for each other, and went to Hell (literally) and back for a decade. She didn't need a year, or however long it normally took, to know that she loved him._

_With a wide smile, he said with just as much passion in his words, he pushed back a strand of her hair, "I love _you."

* * *

Hot tears poured down her face. She gripped her hair, her wrists covering her eyes. Her chest heaved as she gasped for breath between her sobs.

"Why didn't I stay?" she sputtered. But the question remained unanswered in her ever so silent room.

Grief consumed her very being, right down to her core. Anger and self-loathing spread within her like a disease. It rattled in her bones and rendered her weak, lost, and useless.

And it was all her fault. If she had just stayed there like he told her to the man she loves would be there holding her, singing her fears away as she slept.

Why had she been so stupid? So reckless? Why did everything that she cared about fall to ruin?! Why her?! She may be half demon but she was part human too… a good one at that, so why was she continually punished.

She cursed the god that seemed to have a personal vendetta against her.

Her sobs were loud, erratic, irrational and desperate as they cut through the silence of the room. Each of her cries racking her body with spasm after spasm. She knew everything around her was breaking but she didn't care. She was breaking too.

* * *

_She watched in horror as the monster flung his limp body into the air. Her breath grew shallow as an anger rose within her. She felt another pair of eyes forming behind skull. Her demon side was coming out but she didn't care. _

_Let it come._

_Enraged, she flew up in the air with two pairs of glowing red eyes. Dark tentacles appeared around her as her hands sparked with dark magic. She gritted her teeth as she allowed the demon inside her take over. Her powers spread out from her body to the monster in lightning speed._

_The robot attempted to attack her but her magic had taken hold of it and could not move. _

"_Azareth Metrion Zinthos!" she shouted as the darkness attacked the metal monster – destroying it from the inside out. _

_Letting out one final roar, it exploded in a fiery blast - it was finally dead. The darkness retreated back into her as she floated back down. Her second pair of eyes closed while her other one returned to normal. Landing on the ground, she fell to her knees from exhaustion. She raised a hand to her head and looked around her. She saw her team, who had ducked away when she let her demon out, running for her. With the exception of one. _

_It hit her like ice cold water. Her eyes widened, "No…"_

_She searched around her, trying to think of where he could've possibly landed. Standing up. She struggled to run, her legs shaky, burning, and numb. She didn't care. She had to get there. She had to find him. _

_Looking ahead she saw a lying form sprawled out on the pavement, still and unmoving. She knew it was him._

"_No…no, no, no.!" she kept repeating, limping over to his fallen body. She collapsed on her knees as she reached him, burning tears running down her cheeks. _

_She cradled his head with her hands and pulled him into her lap. His body shook from shock as his life's blood left his body. "No, no, no… don't die. Don't die!"_

"_Raven," he choked out between gasping breaths. Blood started pouring out the sides of his mouth._

_Looking him over, she saw the hole in his body where the spike had been. It was in a place that could've been fatal but a place that if helped in time, he could survive. The back of his head was bleeding. It was a wonder how he was still conscious. _

"_Raven," he choked again._

_Locking eyes with him, she said, "It's alright. It's going to be alright. I'm going to heal you and you're going to be fine. Okay?"_

_She placed her hand over his mid-section and concentrated. But she had used so much of her energy, her magic sputtered in and out. With a shocked look, she tried again only to meet the same result. "No, no, no, no!"_

_The other Titans finally, reached them and began accessing the situation._

"_Beastboy! What happened?" asked Nightwing, worriedly but with authority. _

_She ignored his question as she tried to heal him again, "I can't heal him!"_

_Beastboy coughed, "Rae…"_

"_His vitals are skyrocketing," answered Cyborg, reading his computer scanner, "If he doesn't get help soon, he's gonna die."_

"_Where's the nearest hospital?" Nightwing asked in a commanding voice._

"_Jump city hospital. About fifteen minutes from here. Ten, if we hurry."_

"_Then, let's hurry," he narrowed his eyes as he turned to Starfire, "Star, you fly ahead. Let the hospital know we're coming. Cyborg, get-."_

"_Way ahead of you, man," at some point Cyborg had typed in the code to bring the car to them. It came around the corner and stopped in front of them with a skid. _

_It didn't take them long to move him into the car. Cyborg and Nightwing sat in front – Cyborg put his foot on the gas as hard as he could, going as fast as the T-car could go. Nightwing still yelled at him to go faster. Raven sat in the backseat with him, trying to use as much of the healing spell on him as she could. He looked up at her with heavy eyes._

"_Rae…" he crooked._

"_Ssh," she shushed, "Don't talk. Just stay awake, okay? Stay with me."_

_He shook his head, a grim look donned on his face. "S-s-sing."_

"_You're gonna be okay. Believe me. You're going to be just fine," her voice cracked as she spoke. His eyes were getting heavy. He was getting sickly pale. His body began to slack. Blood stained his face, his hair, his uniform. There was so much blood…_

"_Sing," he whispered._

_Her bottom lip quivered as she looked down at him. She was shocked to see what lied within them._

_Pure unadulterated fear._

_There were only a few times were Beastboy was really genuinely scared and now was one of those moments._

"_Sing, Rae…" he crooked out, "For me."_

_Blinking at the tears, she opened her mouth and began to sing the lullaby he always sang to her. He smiled weakly at her and lipped the words along with her as she sang before his eyes rolled into the back of his head and closed. _

_Cyborg pulled into the emergency wing of the hospital where a team of doctors and nurses already assembled. They got him out of the car and onto the gurney, rushing around and barking orders and accessing his injuries. She walked beside him, holding his hands and singing lowly to him. _

_She couldn't hear the doctors or what they were saying. She just watched him in all of his silence. She stopped singing and said sadly, "Come back to me. You promised you would come back."_

_Feeling a heavy hand land on her shoulder, holding her back from continuing with him to the operating room. She wanted to keep going. She wanted to go with him. To be with him. But her body was weak and feeble. The only thing that held her up was him. But it wasn't enough to fight against the weight of Cyborg's arm._

_She held onto his hand until he was too far out of reach. She watched as the gurney went into the elevator. As soon as the doors closed, she fell. And did the one thing she was never to do_

_Cry._

* * *

She had to leave the hospital. Things were starting to break and melt. She couldn't stay there lest other bystanders suffer. So she came back to the Tower.

That was twelve hours ago.

For twelve hours, she cried. For twelve hours, she had walked around the tower feeling empty. For twelve hours, she wished to feel his embrace again. For twelve hours, she waited for _that _call.

Since she left the hospital, she was unaware of his condition. She didn't know whether or not he was okay, if he was unconscious and still in surgery, or if he was…dead. She just sat in the Tower and waited. Waited for an answer. For an absolution. She waited to find out if the man she loves was ever going to come back to her.

A golden light filtered through her room signaling that it was morning and that she did not sleep at all during the night. Not that she could anyway. Her mind was swimming with too many thoughts, wondering if he was okay or not.

Tears still pouring down her face, she turned over and pressed play again on her communicator, and a watched him sing his sweet song.

He got about halfway through the chorus before he fizzled and was replaced by Nightwing's face.

"Nightwing calling Raven. Respond."

This was it. This was the call. Her heart was in her throat and her stomach dropped. She stopped breathing.

"Raven here," her voice sounded horrible.

"Someone needs to speak with you," he said, vaguely before the screen moved over.

She grabbed the communicator and held it close, watching where the screen was going. It passed over a wall and a few machines before she saw him. A bandage was wrapped around his head and his eyes were closed. It looked as if he was sleeping.

But then, his lips twitched into a weak smile. "Hi."

Her breath got caught in her throat as more tears poured out. Her lips shook into a relieved smile. She let go of the breath she was holding.

"Hi..."

* * *

**A/N: Hey guys, sorry that majority of this is written in italics but majority of the story are memories and it didn't feel right to put it in standard text. These memories aren't in chronological order but some do connect to each other. Hopefully, this isn't to hard to follow. The other language used in this piece is Portuguese. Anyway, I worked really hard on this. I wrote every day for two weeks. What started out as just eight paged idea turned into 34 pages so I really hope you guys like it! Please read and review! Peace!**

**Bleeding Writer**

**PS. There's another memory I wanted to add to this but I felt that this was a lot as it was and I just couldn't find a place to fit it in. So If you really like this please leave me a review. If 20 people ask for it I'll add it as a bonus scene in another chapter. That is all. Thanks again!**


	2. Bonus Scene

**Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans!**

**Bonus Scene**

"Why couldn't I have listened?" she mused out loud.

She blamed herself for what happened. She was hurt and she should've stayed down. She should've stayed there and been safe like he told her to. Maybe then, he wouldn't be where he was. Maybe he would be lying next to her, playing his Gameboy or sleeping on her lap or cuddling with her as he whispered sweetly in her ear. Maybe…

She should've known. She should've known to stay put. He always had a tendency to protect her before their relationship – when they were just friends. He was known to tackle or push off someone whenever they got too close to actually killing her. But when their relationship started to blossom so did his need to protect her. So she should've known that he would do it again.

She should've _stayed._

Twiddling with the ring that hung from around her neck, she smiled sadly to herself with furrowed brows. She was never one to wear jewelry regularly until him.

* * *

"_Hi…" he said hesitantly as he peered into her room._

_Her only response was a huff at him and a flip of a page in her book. She wasn't about to satisfy him with a "Hi." No, he was going to have to suffer._

"_Still mad at me, huh?" he sighed as he walked into her room and shutting the door behind him. _

_She lifted her eyebrow in response. She heard him give an exaggerated sigh._

"_Would you please talk to me? I hate it when you do this silent treatment stuff."_

_She turned the next page in her book. That was the whole point of giving him silent treatment. She knew he hated it and therefore, it was his punishment._

_What she didn't realize was how much he really, _really_ hated it. Before she had time to think, he was over by the bed and he took the book in his hands. Snapping it shut, he threw it to the other side of the room. _

"_What the hell do you think you're doing?!" she shouted. If she wasn't mad before she was certainly mad now._

"_If you're going to be mad at me, be mad at me! Stop it with the whole passive aggressive silent treatment bullshit and fucking talk to me!"_

"_Excuse me?!" she replied incredulously. She stood up from the bed she was lying on, "I will talk to you when I'm ready to talk to you. And right now, I'm not in the mood!"_

"_I don't care if you're in the mood or not!" he shouted back, "Hell, I'm not in the mood but here I am ready to talk to you."_

"_You may be ready but I'm not!" she fumed, "I'm still mad at you!"_

_He grabbed her shoulders and pulled her close "Then, be mad at me, Rae and let me know what the fuck is going on!"_

_He was met with a slap in the face. He let go and took a step back away. He rubbed his cheek at little, "Okay, that may have been too much."_

"_Well you deserved it after grabbing me and screaming in my face like that!" She began to pace around._

"_Okay, now we're getting somewhere," he sighed as he watched her pace. "Now what's the problem?"_

_She stopped pacing and looked at him with a shocked look. How could he not know? "What's the problem? What's the problem?! Are you kidding me?!"_

"_No, I'm not. I don't know what I did wrong."_

"_You jumped in front of a gun for me – in front of the whole team! That's what you did!"_

_He stood there for a moment, his face twisted into one of confusion. "…That's what you're mad at me for?"_

"_Yes!"_

_He scoffed, "I saved your life!"_

"_I had it under control! I would've been fine."_

"_No, you wouldn't have! He had a gun pointed at you -!"_

"_And I have superpowers! I would've been fine!"_

"_At your heart, Rae! He pointed it at your heart! If I hadn't gotten there in time, if he had pulled that trigger, you would've died in an instant!"_

"_I had enough time to knock the gun out of his hands!"_

"_Are you seriously mad at me for saving your life?"_

"_No! What I'm mad at is that you constantly do this!"_

"_Do what?"_

"_Protect me! You jump in whenever in almost every battle!"_

"_I do not! When have I ever-?"_

"_A two weeks ago when we were fighting the H.I.V.E. See-More was shooting one of his eye beams at me and I got hit. You stopped fighting Billy Numerous and attacked him."_

"_He was shooting eyebeams at you!"_

"_A week later when we were fighting Mumbo Jumbo."_

"_He had you tied up and you were about to plunge into piranha infested waters!"_

"_Overload."_

"_If he'd touched you he would've zapped you!"_

"_Dr. Light? When you know I'm the best one to take care of him. Before I even had the chance to try anything, you turned into a tyrannosaurus and grabbed him with your teeth."_

"…_Okay," his hand reached up to scratch the back of his neck, "Maybe I have been a bit over protective lately."_

"_A bit?!"_

"_Yeah, a bit."_

_She crossed her arms over her chest, "Try very over protective and we'll be scratching the surface."_

"_So what? It's not a big deal."_

"_Yes it is a big deal!"_

"_No it isn't!"_

"_Yes it is!"_

"_Why? What's the big deal about wanting to protect you?_

"_Because it's our job, Gar!" she yelled, "It's our job to lay our lives out on the line. It's our job to protect the people of Jump city and you prevent me from doing that every time you step in!"_

"_He had a gun at you!" _

"_You still shouldn't have st-!"_

"_Don't you dare tell me that I shouldn't have stepped in. That I shouldn't have protected you!"_

"_I can protect myself, Gar!"_

"_I don't care!" his voice boomed. He was shaking now and his jaw was tight, "No one points a gun at my wife! And I'll be damned if I…"_

_His words faded off into the distance. Her jaw dropped at him and her eyes grew wide. He was ranting now – his arms failing all over the place as he spoke. But she didn't hear the words anymore. _

_Did he say that? Did he really call her… his wife? _

"_Gar…"_

"_I'm sorry that you're mad but-,"_

"_Gar."_

"_I'm not going to apologize for protecting you. And if you think I am-!"_

"_Garfield!"_

_He stopped, "What?"_

_She stared at him for a moment, unsure of what to say. "Did you…did you just call me your wife?"_

_She watched him pause, thinking about her question. She watched his face go from recollection to realization. He gave a long sigh into the air, "I did, didn't I?"_

_A silence fell upon them. Both unnerved and unsure of what to say next. It was one of those moments where you knew something major was going to happen but you didn't know exactly how it was going to turn out._

"_What..." she started again. Her voice sounded so strange to her, "W-why did you call me that?"_

_He stared for a minute as if she he couldn't understand her. Then, he laughed breathlessly his hand covering his mouth. He looked back to her again and smiled before he walked passed her and to his side of the bed. She watched nervously as he reached into the drawer of her night stand. Standing back up, he pulled out something small in his hand. It looked like a little black box._

_She looked back up to his face with a confused look. She saw that his smile ran from ear to ear._

"_Cause," he played with the box in his hands a little before looking back up at her, "I wanna marry you."_

_Her eyes widened, flabbergasted at his words, "What?"_

_He began to walk back over to her with a smirk on his face, "For the past 3 weeks, I've been planning on proposing to you. Obviously not like this but since I let the cat out of the bag…"_

"_B-but…" she tried to speak, her words failing her miserably. _

"_I refer to you as my wife in my head to get rid of the lingering doubt that you'll say no," he stopped in front of her._

_His eyes were sparkling as he gazed upon her. So much love laid behind those eyes for her. She felt her heart beat a mile a minute and her head felt dizzy. Was this all real?_

"_So, Rae," he whispered as he opened the box but her eyes never left his, "Will you be my wife?"_

_This was a dream. It had to be. It was all too good to be true. She never ever,_ ever_ thought that, in life, she would be loved – that she would have friends that were like her family. That she would be understood. That she would meet the man of her dreams and then, have that said man love her as much as she loved him. And since she was supposed to die at sixteen, she never thought that she would get married. _

_And now here she was with friends who loved her like family. Here she was alive at the age of twenty-three. And here she was with the man of her dreams who understood her, loved her inside and out, and now was proposing marriage._

_Her lip shook as a tear ran down her cheek._

"_Oh no, don't cry. Please don't cry, Rae," he said as he wiped the liquid from her cheek._

"_I'm not crying because I'm sad…" She sniffed as a small smile spread across her lips, "I'm crying because I'm happy."_

_He smiled at her with hope in his eyes, "So… is that a yes?"_

_Giving him a breathy giggle, she looked down at the ring. It was set in silver with one big oval sapphire with two smaller onyx gems to the side of it. Simple but elegant. _

_She looked back up to him and said, "You have to let me fight my own battles. You have to let me serve my purpose on the team. If it starts looking like I'm going to go down, then fine, step in but I don't want you fighting my battles for me. I won't tolerate it."_

"_Rae," he called her attention. She could feel his anxiousness, "Will you marry me?"_

_With all the love she had in her heart, she answered, "Yes."_

* * *

**A/N: So in approximately a day I got 20 reviews, a lot of favorites, and a private message from people who liked this story. So here is the promised bonus scene. Sorry it's not long but it is just a little blurb in the grand story that is BBXRAE. I am so glad you guys enjoy this story despite the bumpy-ness of this piece. I'm glad you could understand it and make it through the random jump cuts. This story was a real pleasure to write. Seriously, at one point during my two weeks of writing, I stayed up all night for three consecutive nights to write it cause these characters would not let me go to sleep. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this bonus scene and I'll see you guys back at TSD. That's all for now… peace!**

**Bleeding Writer**


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